5. It Prevents Development of Coping Strategies
When parents swiftly respond to a child’s needs, the child is learning how to cope with their emotions by observing and feeling the impact of their parents’ reactions. Only through consistent soothing by the parent can they finally begin to do it for themselves. Smartphones have become such a distraction that many opportunities to be fully present for our children are lost. We’re not modeling how to deal with emotional or physical issues that arise, and that affects their development of skills to manage emotions and moments of crisis in life. This continues on as children get older and begin to have more sophisticated conversations. You know from your own experience that it’s hard to talk about meaningful, personal subjects when the person you’re speaking to is looking at their phone, no matter how much they assure you they’re listening. Williams conveys that parents must create those times when they are completely available, without distraction, to listen attentively to what their children are saying. Many conversations never take place because of the dedicated involvement with technology parents have. Williams explains, “When a kid is distressed, and you completely ignore them, their distress is going to grow,” and, “They won’t build neural pathways that teach them how to soothe themselves.”
